Into the Fairy Lands
By J. R. Bennett
Chapter V
Bathill, Parliament, and the temptation of Bug-a-boo
~*~
Not long after Kina
had left the house, Ed set straight to work preparing for Bathill. That afternoon, he and the others travelled to
the booking office at the railway station in the Older District reserving
tickets for the train to Bathill and stopped off at Cheswick’s to collect some
formal wear for their trip. Little Dill
insisted on going, he had even went as far as showing up at Ed’s house with a small chest, packed with clothes
the night before they were to leave. Ed
nearly said yes but Kina intervened, stating he had an important mission for
the small toy.
That morning, Ed, Zach, Alice and Travis stood at the
platform waiting for the train. George
and Emma had joined them at the station to see the group off. Emma had given each person a small package of
snacks for the journey.
After a few
minutes, a perky, little, tank engine shunted the coaches before the platform,
each one purple and cream with the words “Imperial Rail” layered upon each
carriage’s side. When the tank had left,
a large and majestic steam locomotive with the name “Behemoth” stamped on her
tender backed down onto the train.
“This is
the point where things go from familiar to strange,” commented Ed as a faun
dressed as a guard walked out of one of the carriages. “Newtown is about as our world as it gets but
in Bathill, you’ll think you’ve entered a modern day version of Lord of the Rings.”
Soon more
people began to appear on the platform and fill the coaches. Ed, Alice, Zach, Travis were led to their
booked compartment in the rear coach.
After what felt like hours, the faun-guard blew its whistle and the
train pulled out of the station, white smoke escaping from its sides and black
and grey pouring from its funnel.
The engine moved across the countryside at high speed. Horses galloped at their best to keep up but
soon lost their race as the engine crossed the Tashford
River and entering the township of New Vin.
There
Behemoth was uncoupled
from her burden and a fresh engine, named
Eagle,
was coupled to the train.
“Eagle never enters Newtown,” Ed
explained in a matter-of-fact way.
“She’s owned by Imperial Rail while Behemoth
is owned by the Newtown, Electon and Prong Railway. To save people from having to jump from one
train to another, Behemoth provides a
service of bringing the train to Newtown, which is outside of Imperial Rails’
main line.”
No one
seemed to be listening. They were
mesmerised by the elegance, beauty, and the strange yet familiar-ness of the
scenery. This sense of wonder was
especially seen in Bridgington
, a
large city built upon a series of bridges.
The train journeyed along the streets and mingled with the crowds of
people as it travelled at a slow speed.
Passengers wishing to get off or on to the train would open the doors of
their coach and merely step out. Ed
explained that a station was never established in Bridgington so it seemed logical
to allow people to walk in and out of the train as the engine moved at a slow
pace. After Bridgington, the engine made
its way at full speed for Bathill, the capital, as Ed explained, of the Deltic
Empire.
The engine entered St. Oliver’s Station; elegant stone
pillars and stain glass windows that decorated the buildings greeted everyone. At the main doors of the station, Ed flagged
a taxi to bring them to their hotel, a mammoth structure known as the Empress
Hotel.
After
checking in and finding their room, a large dwelling with several privet rooms
and a large bathroom, everyone took to their own vices. While Alice took the bathroom hostage, Ed,
Travis and Zach sat in the lounge room.
The three men sat drinking a concoction called Ja’goo
juice, a pinkish liquid that tasted similar to black tea but with a strong flavour
of vanilla and mint.
“Now what?”
Zach asked.
“We
relax.” Ed answered. “Tomorrow will be a big ‘un. We have to make our rounds about Parliament
and meet with Guthrie Bloom.”
“Guthrie
Bloom?” piped Travis.
“He’s an
odd fellow,” Ed explained as he drew a cigar from the complimentary box
nearby. “He’s the MP for the Newtown,
Electon and New Vin riding. Without him,
we wouldn’t have the support of the Working Class Party or the Unionists.
We’ll have to meet with him to get a lay of
the field before the house meeting. Her
Majesty, Queen Clair II will be attending this meeting. It’ll be her first with both halls together.”
They did
very little for the rest of the night.
There was a short game of cards and then they went to bed, knowing that
the next morning would be busy.
The next morning everyone woke early. As they were going to Parliament, they had to
dress in fine attire, the men in suits and Alice in a dress. Once they were ready, Ed sent a request to
the front desk for a taxi and the group crowded in for Parliament.
The long
drive was an entertaining one. People
and animals walked up and down in various forms of fashion and buildings ranged
from various time periods. The taxi
halted before an elaborately decorated iron gate with the words Deltus Imperium. Ed, Zach, Alice and Travis left the taxi and
followed the cobble stone path into a vast roof that was supported by a series
of columns.
“This is
Issacon’s hall.” explained Ed. “We just have to follow this to the very end
and we will be at the offices.”
The group
followed this route to the centre, where it branched out left and right forming
a large square with large stone buildings on each side. They weren’t the only ones there though. People, animals, elves, dwarves and other
mystic figures walked about, some standing and talking to each other, some
running to one of the three buildings.
In the middle of the square courtyard was a massive stone figure holding
a stone scroll, a plaque underneath read:
WILLIAM ISSACON
(1857-1936)
SAVOUR OF THE EMPIRE
Ed stopped
to ask a lion the direction to Guthrie Bloom’s office, once given the answer
needed the made their way into one of the buildings. All the buildings were similar; the halls
were decorated with multiple paintings, mostly of former monarchs and scenes
from the empire’s history. Each door was
a dark brown with the occupant’s name printed in gold on a black card that was
nailed upon it.
The group
walked through the halls until they came across a sign that read:
Guthrie L. Bloom
Working Class Party
Party Leader
Ed knocked
on the door until there was a gruff call of “enter.”
The room
was nicely furnished. At one end was a
writing desk with a large bookshelf behind it.
On the other end was a set of comfortable chairs with a coffee table in
the middle. Behind the desk sat a man
looking to be in his forties, but must have been much older, in a suit with a
pair of glasses sitting at the end of his nose.
This man was Guthrie Bloom.
Bloom
glared up from behind his glasses. “Good
to see you Mr. Worsley,” the politician said as he stood up to shake hands.
After the
introductions were made, the group sat around the coffee table and Bloom got
right to business.
“A well
written report,” Bloom said. “You have
the support of the Working Class Party and the Liberals and the Unionists. The Conservatives haven’t said anything yet
and the Methodists are out right against the report.”
“I was
never expecting the Methodists to support us.” Ed replied.
“They’ve
always been a tough nut to crack. Anywa’
have you a minister and lord yet? You
know the Methodists and Conservatives will want you to stick to the rules of
the Beckett Act.”
Zach,
Travis and Alice looked puzzled.
“Oh yes.”
Ed replied, he then pointed with his thumb toward the trio.
“Them?”
“Oh yes,”
explained Ed. “Tell me Guthrie, have you
ever heard of Sealand?”
“Sealand?”
“It’s a
small principality from my world.”
Guthrie
tried to play along. The old
politician’s world was very aware of other realms, and he knew that Ed was not
from this one. With a brief moment to
moisten his lips and a pause to figure out how to word his sentence, the old
politician asked: “Which one is which?”
“Travis is
an MP for one of their constituencies and Zach, well he happens to be a lord.”
Travis and
Zach looked flabbergasted.
“I would
like to further this discussion,” went on Bloom as he checked his wristwatch,
“but I have a cabinet meeting to attend.”
As the
quartet left the office, Bloom turned to Travis and Zach: “It was an honour to meet the two of you,
sir” – Bloom then tuned to Zach and gave a curt bow – “and your lordship.”
“Lord?” cried
Zach. It was all he could say the rest
of the day. Travis was, on the other
hand, used to being strung up in Ed’s schemes and false identity seemed like a
new field of expertise.
“It’ll
work, I think.” Ed said trying to sound reassuring. They had returned to the hotel after a day of
meetings with prominent members of government and members of the order.
“I think
he’s worried about being caught,” commented Alice from behind a newspaper.
“You
won’t,” Ed promised. “This is only a formality; the government doesn’t have the
legal right to give you three a background check. I could say you were the king
of Bristol-burg or Chester-stan-stan for all I wanted.”
Zach was
still unsure. As tempting as it would be
to pretend to be a lord, the repercussions could be dire. “What am I required to do?” he asked.
“Nothing,
I’ll be doing all the talking. You two
only give me legitimacy in the house.
There is one thing the Connies and the Methos like, and that is
legitimacy.”
Before Zach
could say more, Ed left the room; he had been called to the front desk for a
meeting with a visitor at the front lobby.
As the
three were left alone, a certain voice called out: “He can be a right ass
sometimes, you know.”
Everyone
looked up. It was Bug-a-boo. The old wizard stepped out of the fireplace
with a red carpet bag.
“I know I
was defending him last time, but I absolutely hate it when he gets all cocky.”
“What you
doing here?” cried Alice.
“Getting
you lot out of here before it is too late,” the wizard replied. “Ed has no right getting you three entangled
within otherworldly politics.”
“But Ed’s
already counting on us,” protested Alice.
“He’ll have
to deal with it on his own.” Bug-a-boo
snapped. “It isn’t right for you three
to be brought into this.”
“I’m not
going,” shot Zach.
“Neither am
I,” put in Travis.
“And why
ever not?” asked Bug-a-boo, curiously.
“We’ve made
a commitment.” Zach argued. “We can’t
just leave Ed like this.”
“You three
have no right to be pulled into this situation.” Bug-a-boo argued. “It would be
far better to get you three out before it’s too late.”
“Are you deaf?”
Zach fired back, growing annoyed. “We said we aren’t leaving. Now, go take your
rat bag and parlour tricks back to wherever it is you come from.”
Bug-a-boo
did not like hearing this. The long pipe
between the wizard’s teeth began to spew red and black smoke an in a deep
hard-to-contain voice, he replied: “Two things boy” – glaring at Zach as he
said this. “First, you seemed pretty
unhappy about coming here at the start; I was just trying to help you out. Second, never – and I mean never – cross a
wizard, we have a tendency of being… unforgiving.”
Before
anyone else could say anything, the smoke from Bug-a-boo’s pipe began to
consume him like before and then he was gone.
As Bug-a-boo faded out, Ed came into the room.
“I was just
speaking to a dignitary from Parliament.” Ed explained. “We are present first at the afternoon
session tomorrow.” After saying what he
need to say, Ed left to his room.
The three
looked at each other. They couldn’t put
their finger on it but Ed seemed a little upset as he left.
Over last year and
this year, I’ve become a fan of the webcomic series Sara’s Scribbles by artist Sarah Andersen. These delightful comics follow the day-to-day
life of the character Sarah, as she deals with entering the new world of
adulthood. These escapades range from
love, socializing with people (ugh), and the trials that adulthood and life
likes to throw at you. With her boyfriend or pet bunny by her side, Sara faces the world head on, with an air of anxiety and melodrama. Recently,
Andersen has published a selection of her comics into a book entitled Adulthood is a Myth.
