Into The Fairy Lands
III
The Trip to Town
~*~
Zach woke from a
difficult sleep, the kind of sleep where you hope the events from the day
before were nothing but a terrible dream, when in truth they were very real.
The futon mattress that he slumbered on was obviously not meant for
sleeping. As he pulled himself out of
the makeshift bed, Zach studied the room.
The walls
were covered with shelves, each filled with books, scrolls, and boxes. In one
corner of the room, Zach noticed a small desk with a stack of paper and large
typewriter. He studied it. The top slice
read, “An insightful study of Grogs in the Dead Lands.” Zach placed the slice of paper back on the
stack.
Nonsense, he thought, Grogs...what the hell is that! The Dead Lands seemed to be some region that
was lazily named. All these things
seemed to him to be nothing more than made up nonsense.
Zach opened
the bedroom door. He heard the sound of
laughter coming from downstairs. As he
walked down the hall and the stairs, Zach studied the paintings that decorated
the walls. When he reached the kitchen, Zach saw everyone sitting around a
table in the middle of breakfast.
Ed sat in a
chair facing Zach in a beige cardigan over some red-stripped pajamas with
Travis and Alice on either side of him. Next
to Alice sat a young man with a sleepy look to him appearing to be in his
twenties, dressed in a navy blue jacket and trousers and a white shirt with a
black tie that was loosened for comfort.
“...And so
there I was running from a six-foot talking bee when- Oh Zach!” cried Ed as he
tapped a boiled egg with a spoon. “This is Ryan, he's George's son.”
Zach nodded
hello and took a seat next to Travis.
The table was littered with toast, eggs and plates; Zach selected one of
each and joined the others in their meal.
“I've been
telling one of my travel stories.” Ed explained.
“I see,”
Zach replied with a tone suggesting that he still was not quite comfortable
with the situation.
There soon
came a moment of uncomfortable silence.
“I was
hoping,” added Ed uncomfortably, “that we could maybe make a trip to the older
district of Newtown, if it is at all possible.”
“Older district?” puzzled Travis.
Before Ed
could answer, the doorbell rang. “I'll get it!”
Ryan said as he got up from the table.
“It's just
the central area of town,” Ed explained.
“There are some lovely shops and I need to make some enquiries.”
“Whatever
happened to that little toy from last night?”
Alice asked. She had a point; Little Dill had disappeared after they
arrived at George's house.
“Here I
ams!” cried a familiar voice.
Everyone
looked. On the windowsill was Little Dill, dressed in his purple
coattails. Next to him was a doll, a
little taller than Little Dill. The other
doll was dressed in flashy suit.
“Hullo
Gary, haven’t seen you in these parts for a while.” greeted Ed.
“I’ve been
traveling around selling yards.” the
doll replied.
“Yards?” said Zach.
“Yeah,”
replied Ed, “Gary and Little Dill sell yards.”
“Their
three feet of fun!” cried Little Dill with excitement.
There came
a sigh in response to this poor pun.
“Oh!” cried
Ed. “Where have my manners gone again? Everyone,
this is Gary.”
Gary gave a
polite bow.
Ryan soon
returned with what looked like a box wrapped in brown paper. “The starchier came by with your collars,” he
said.
Soon the
ritual of breakfast was over and Ed changed into a grey suit with a black tie
that had a ruby stud on it. The others
had to wait for their clothes, the only ones they had on their backs, to be
washed and dried. They didn’t leave
until around eleven o’clock. Ed led the
group down the path to the sidewalk where they all climbed into Ed’s car.
The Older District was located not far from the downtown
area. A large red-bricked building marks
where it is. Large grey, stonewalls
surround the section dating from days passed.
The roads in there were built in a time when it was uncommon for
vehicles, whether it were from draft animal or motor, to enter the town limits,
so many visitors would park their cars in a yard nearby and walk into the
district.
Upon
arriving at the district, the group were lead to an old building with a sign reading:
“Cheswick Tailor”. Ed never did like
leading. He wasn’t fond of the thought
of possibly making the wrong decision.
Mr.
Cheswick eyed Zach and Travis up and down.
“Kids to-day,” he muttered, “looking sloppier and sloppier every year.”
The tailor
looked among his many ready-made clothes for something that met their style
while Mrs. Cheswick helped Alice find something appealing. In the meantime, Ed had run across the street
to send out some telegrams from the post office. The parcels from the shop were loaded onto a handcart,
which a porter was hired to pull. As
they walked, they came across a shop with a well-kept sign that read: “Jelly’s
Fine Meats and Delicatessen”.
It was not
busy in the shop, at the front of the shop three men were arguing. One of the men in front of the counter was
George, from the night before, only dressed in a suit this time and the other
was in a purple vest with a black top hat; while the man behind had was dressed
in a shirt and tie with a crisp white smock.
“I am telling
you it’s your turn to pay for pints,” snapped George.
“And I’m
telling you, it’s yours,” replied the man from behind the counter.
“I paid for
them last week,” put in the man in the purple vest. “It’s always your turn after me so stop being
miser Jelly and pay up.”
“George
paid last time.” the smocked man replied.
“I remember because Lordham went purple when he saw you pulling out your
cheque book. ‘No merchant likes it when
you use cheques,’ my dad always said, ‘it them that your skinked.’”
“Oh, bolt
your da’ and his quips.” George replied.
“That was just to guarantee to Lordham that he got his copper.”
“What’s all
this?” inquired Ed.
“Jelly here
is refusing to pay for pints tonight,” explained George, pointing at the man in
the smock with his thumb.
“It happens
every week it’s his turn,” added the man in the vest with a sigh.
Ed turned
to his friends. “Everyone,” he said,
“this” – pointing to the man in the vest – “is Jackson Oakwood, and” – pointing
to the man in the smock – “this is Theodore Jelly, everyone calls him Teddy.”
“You can
call me Pumpkin Stone,” added the man in the vest, which we shall refer to as
Pumpkin Stone for the remainder of the story.
“There is
always a more appropriate way of solving this,” added Ed.
“And what
would that be,” snapped Jelly.
“A game of
Pumpernickel obviously.”
“Excellent
plan,” added George, “but I can’t play ‘cause of my leg,” and pointed to the
one in question.
“Then we’ll
have Alice, Zach, and Travis join in and you can observe from the side.”
Alice,
Zach, and Travis just watched. The name
of the game was queer enough, and they were actually going to play it.
On the
drive to the field, Ed tried his best to explain the game.
“It’s
really easy. All we need are a few bats,
two poles, and a ball. The whole point
of the game is to try and get the ball to hit your opponent’s pole and get the
most points, or a “tri” as it’s called in the game.”
The car
turned onto an embankment of a steep hill and charged upward until it reached
the top. At the top sat a jungle gym on
one end and a flat pasture with two poles on the other. George and Pumpkin Stone walked up the hill
with a trunk held between them.
Up the
embankment came an old lorry driven by Teddy pulled up. He had abandoned his smock for a checked coat
and a cloth cap. “Right,” he said. “Who’s all playing?”
“Since
George is useless without his cane,” said Pumpkin Stone, “he’s going to keep
score and I’ll play in his place.”
Teddy
gestured Ed over to himself and Pumpkin Stone. “Do your friends know how to
play?” he said in low whisper, sounding as if it would be scandalous.
“Oh of
course,” Ed replied, speaking in a normal tone.
“I even explained the whole thing to them to be safe.”
Teddy did
not seem satisfied, but whether he liked it or not, Alice, Zach and Travis were
the only players they had. He knew this
game would be his only way to weasel out of paying for drinks. With an annoyed sigh, Teddy replied, “Let’s
play.” Teddy then turned to Travis and
called: “You’re wit’ me.”
“I’ll go on
Pumpkin Stone’s team,” called Ed.
Zach was
shunted to Teddy’s team and Alice to Pumpkin Stone. George threw an old ball of rubber bands into
the air and then walked over to sit on the trunk, where he lit his pipe and
watched the game. George cried: “First
team to thirty wins.”
Ed struck
the ball. It flew in the air and was
struck by Pumpkin Stone and it bounced off the pole on one end.
“Three
points!” called George and wrote it onto a scrap of paper.
The ball
was now in the air; Alice caught it and began to run.
“Foul!”
yelled George and scratched the three points out.
“You can’t
grab the ball and run,” explained Ed.
“You can catch it and throw it.”
“I wish you’d
have told me that sooner,” Alice grumbled.
The game
went uneventful for the rest of the time.
At least that was the case until Travis ruined Teddy’s chance of evading
his role as payer. Teddy was close to
winning the game. They had twenty-seven
points to Pumpkin Stone’s eighteen. One
more tri and Teddy would win.
The ball
flew into the air toward Travis. He
didn’t know what to do. He closed his
eyes tightly and swatted his bat. The
ball flew toward the right and kept going.
Then “Crash!” right into a window of a house at the far end.
“Not
again,” sighed Pumpkin Stone and buried his face in his hands.
The group
quickly tossed what remained of the equipment into the trunk, tossed it into
the back of Teddy’s lorry, and drove off as fast as possible.
The Boar’s Head was a large pub. One side held the bar, kitchen entrance, and
a few dartboards; while the other where tables and chairs. The lot walked in and were greeted by a burly
man with thick sideburns. “Goo’
eve’in’,” he called from behind the bar in deep bold voice.
“Hulloa
Lordham,” cried Ed as he and the company took a few tables.
Lordham
then walked over to them, pointing at each of the familiars there and naming
what they’d want: George – “Local Ale,”
Pumpkin Stone – “Local Ale,” Teddy – “Soda and Gin,” and Ed – “Milk
Stout.” Lordham then turned to the
Alice, Zach and Travis and asked for their orders.
“I don’t
drink,” said Zach politely.
“Doesn’t
mattah teh me lad,” was the reply. “Ah
can get you a Gordon’s Cola instead.”
Alice and
Travis made their orders as well.
Lordham even brought a plate of complementary meat pies when he brought
the drinks.
There they
were, George, Pumpkin Stone, Teddy, Ed, Alice, Zach and Travis, sitting
comfortably, each sipping their drinks away.
It was peaceful, very peaceful for Ed.
His eyes began silently tearing up as he drank his milk stout. It occurred to him then that they would go
home soon. Back to their daily lives, Ed
would be left to fret away on another journey of his own. They may never meet again; the whole lot
spreading out to the point Ed would never find them again.
Ed’s train
of thought was broke by Travis. “What up
bro,” he said.
“Nothing,”
Ed replied, “just thinking.”
“Don’t do
too much of that, you’ll hurt yourself.”
Ed
smirked. “I was only thinking, what’ll
happen once this is over. You guys will
be off and living your lives again. I’ll
just sit here and try to make the most of my new life.”
“We know
your alive now.” Travis assured his friend.
“I mean, there should be a way for us to visit you.”
“Maybe… Bug-a-boo mentioned to me once that there is
more than one way to travel among worlds, in fact this one is of but a few that
I am aware of.”
Ed was
about to say more but he was interrupted with a sudden brawl in the pub.
“What going
on?” asked Alice.
“Nothing
dear” – George replied – “Just a
normal pub fight on a Saturday” – and smashed a bottle on a nearby table over a
man’s head without looking.
Near the
kitchen entrance, Lordham seemed to be signaling them.
“Now’s our
cue to leave lads,” called Pumpkin Stone as he tucked a few meat pies in his
coat pocket.
The group
followed Lordham through the kitchen to the lounge room in the back.
“We’ve ‘ad
fight’s in ‘ere before” – said Lordham as he poured some coffee into a mug –
“but this ‘un ‘as teh beat the incident at the Imperial Inn.”
George started
laughing. “I though’ mah da’ was going
to kill me when he picked us up from the station.” he said.
While the
old men talked of their youthful escapades, Ed explained the situation. Whenever a fight would break out on a
Saturday evening Lordham and the others would hide out in the back room until
it ended or the cops finally showed up to break it up.
It wasn’t
long from when they left the fight that things died down. Ed took Alice, Zach and Travis back to his
house. When they arrived, Ryan was just
leaving for his shift at work. Before
leaving, Ryan told Ed that a letter had arrived for him in the evening mail. Ed glanced at the address and placed it with
the other envelopes.
“I’ll be back.” Ed said bluntly. He hurried up the stairs and shut his office
door behind him.
With Ed
gone, Zach spoke.
“Something
isn’t right,” he said. “Am I the only
one who thinks… well, you know.”
“What?” Alice asked.
“Ed, he
seems different.”
“You sound
surprised,” said a voice from nowhere.
The three
looked over to black void of the living room.
With the strike of a match and the hazy smoke from a pipe, Bug-a-boo
appeared in one of the leather chairs.
“How’d you
get in here?” Travis inquired.
“It is well
within my abilities to be anywhere at once,” the wizard explained. “Did it ever occur to you why he wanted to
have you lot here?”
No one said
a word.
“His
reasons were quite hidden from me as well.
I had to figure it out on my own.
He’s trying to say good-bye.”
“But Ed
told me there was more than one way to come here,” Travis projected.
“As true as
it maybe, giving someone the power to cross worlds is very dangerous.” Bug-a-boo argued. “That’s why I opened the portal myself. I can’t just trust anyone else with it; they
may use it for corrupt reasons. When I
had let Ed cross between worlds, I realized he would eventually have to choose
where he would want to dwell. That is
why I brought him here when he was ill, it would give him a new start once he
was better. Ed doesn’t even understand
the gravity of this. I was just able to
make him agree to only have you lot come once, then, when you three are sent
back, I will close the portal for good.”
“That’s why
he made the list.”
“Indeed.”
“If Ed is
saying good-bye why does he seem to be so happy about it?” Travis snapped.
“Just
because a man acts happy here doesn’t mean he really is nor does it mean he’s
not trying to say good-bye.”
At that
moment Ed came down the stairs.
“Bug-a-boo,” he said. “What’s
up?”
“Nothing, I
only came to pass a message on to you.”
The wizard relied wearily. “Kina
wants you to stop by his house in the morning.
He sent some particulars for you to look at when you get the chance.”
With a few
puffs of his pipe, Bug-a-boo faded from his audience.
Over last year and
this year, I’ve become a fan of the webcomic series Sara’s Scribbles by artist Sarah Andersen. These delightful comics follow the day-to-day
life of the character Sarah, as she deals with entering the new world of
adulthood. These escapades range from
love, socializing with people (ugh), and the trials that adulthood and life
likes to throw at you. With her boyfriend or pet bunny by her side, Sara faces the world head on, with an air of anxiety and melodrama. Recently,
Andersen has published a selection of her comics into a book entitled Adulthood is a Myth.
